Once a Stranger..
We are both from Pampanga,
we speak the same dialect, and most of all we graduated in College from the
same University. Why I’m saying this, because I wonder why the hell we never
meet before? There was never an instance or incident that we got to bump into
each other. I’m not saying that in 4 years and a half that I stayed in that
school I must have meet Him or at least know Him, well, it must have been
“only” a twist of fate that we went from the said school. Until 1 day, we met,
not inside the campus but in a training center. Were both “virgins” in this new
line of career that we’re about to partake, to be call center agents! We got
introduce, we become group mates and we joint our ideas/thoughts during our fun
activities. We hang most of the time, we get bonded, we understand each other’s
differences, we laugh a lot, I cried in front of Him, were always together, we
can’t be separated at times. In short,
we got along well and we became comfortable with each other. Two individuals
who was Once a complete Strangers turn into Friends!=)
Once a Friend..
Once a Friend..
Since then, I considered Him as a
Friend. A Friend whom I gave my Trust and Loyalty, he was my confidence booster,
my sounding board whenever I feel like giving up! He made me feel appreciated
and accepted. I think that’s the reason why I feel so comfortable whenever were
together. There was one time and I will never forget that moment when he said “Keni
ka, ali ka mamako keni” (Stay there, don't move away from here). I felt so close
to Him, I felt so secured! As each day gets harder and harder for us at work, we
became sort of strengths to one another, I helped him and vice versa. We always
sit beside each other’s stations. While on petiks mode, we talked a lot, he jokes
around, we laughed, we sang together and we even shared our stories with regard
to our love life. There was once an instance that he held my hand. It was just
a gesture of making me feel how it was holding hands with someone. (I’ve never
been into relationship, that’s why I never experienced having someone holding
my hand!) Then
something came out on my mind, when I got home, I felt something so different, very peculiar from
the usual things that I feel. I then asked myself, am I falling in LOVE with
Him? By the way, people close to me and so did he know the fact that I was
still in Love with someone. I’ve been very consistent with it; in fact, the
story that I shared with regard to my Love Life was about this someone. So I
never thought nor intended to feel something different until that one day came. Two Strangers turn into
Friends, But, No! we didn’t turn to Lovers, I just fell in Love with Him..
I Fell in Love with my Friend..
When the mere thought of having this feeling, I hastily prayed and ask God to guide me whether to pursue this indescribable feeling or stick with my friendship with Him which has grown in a span of 3 months. I chose friendship! For the reason that I know we will much be happy if we maintain our closeness and relationship as Friends. And that we will be better off as Friends. So I tried to ignore my feelings towards Him, I became more careful of my actions, coz I don't want to get any impression from the people around us that I liked Him. Though there were times that they will tease us, I managed to ignore them because in my mind I know that I made a promise to God. Despite the fact that I knew that He was a psychology graduate, I still pretended to be the same person that I used to be when I'm with Him. Unexpectedly, things have gotten out of my control; I was eliminated from work, a very hurtful thing that I need to accept. I feel so disappointed, depressed, frustrated and really gotten mad of that dreadful situation. With all that’s going through my mind, I am much concerned of the fact that I won’t be with him any longer, we won’t be together anymore like we used to be. As a matter of fact, before that unpleasant incident happen, I was so happy because we both left from work just the 2 of us. Then all of sudden I was compel to face the fact and accept my fate! Yes! I did ask God why? (Story concerning to this will come up, soon!).
With all that has happened, I decided to still get in touch with Him among our other friends. I visited them as often as I can.. But there are certain things which I didn’t expect to happen.. Fast forward again, I was having speculations, intuitions, I know in my heart that there is something going on between Him and someone whom I considered as my “closest friend”. The very thought of it really makes me hated them and I really felt betrayed about it! And guess what? My intuition was right! Imagine how I will be able to cope after a distressing incident happen to me regarding my work and then there comes painful realization that my so called closest friend and special friend turn into Lovers. Whatda?!!! After finding the truth about it, I can say that from being Strangers turn into Friends, I fell in Love with Him now we're back to being Strangers again...
Strangers Again..
The Last time I saw Him was on Nov. 6 of 2010, we haven’t talked nor seen each other since then. I tried to reach out on Him, texted Him but He never replied. For me, I do still consider Him as my Friend, a Friend that I never want to lose. I remember those times when we share our dreams, goals and plans with each other. We even planned things together. I guess life just doesn’t turn out the way we planned it. Maybe God had something better in mind. He was my Friend at most, He made me smile when I’m sad, He made me feel he was concern, He showed me that he cares for me but now everything has completely changed!:( It really makes me sad without knowing the reason why he suddenly changed his treatment on me. I kept asking myself, what have I done wrong to deserve it? I tried to understand the fact that He ignores me because of my feelings for Him, but nevertheless, it is still not a basis for Him to just throw away the friendship we once had. I wish he could tell me what happened, why He has to end his friendship with me that way. Somehow, I might understand Him! I am still hoping that after all that happened; our friendship might have a second chance of renewing it. We’ve gone separate ways; I can see that as time passes by he is able to achieve his goals in life. I am happy for what he has become, though there’s a sign of pain inside my heart that says I wish I am with Him during his triumphs. If you were to ask me If I am still in Love with Him? My answer will be.. Honestly, Yes! I am still in Love with Him! I will always carry this feeling, this thing maybe called Love, for my special Friend!:)
God
knows what is inside my heart, I want Him, I want to be with Him, I want to see
Him, and I want that Friend whom I used to have back then. I believe that God allowed us to meet in this journey of
life because He has a purpose. I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to meet
someone like Him, once a stranger turn out to be my Friend, to a Special Friend, in which I never intended nor expect to fell in Love with.
He
has forever marked a big part of my life. I will never forget Him and all that
we’ve shared and learned somewhere down the road. I miss Him and I Love Him the
best way I understand what Love is..!